Okay, so on June 24, I fly with Etihad from Abu Dhabi at 10:05 am, booze my brains out with one of these skirts for 14.25 hours, and arrive in JFK at 4:30 pm tired and hungover.
Then 2 hours later, I jump on an American Airlines flight to LAX at 6:45 pm, accept only complimentary coffee, tea, or soda for my 6.25 hour voyage, hopefully not with this limp haired party animal, and arrive in the sunshine state just in time to go to bed at 10:45 pm.
Approx. total flight time: 20.5 hours.
Approx. total travel time: 23.75 hours.
Arriving in the best state, in best country: priceless.