New Year, new things!

We got a new teacher this week. So far she is living with me and Ana, but she is Muslim and British, and the school has deals with mixing Christians and Muslims, and they prefer to keep Brits with Brits and Americans with Americans etc. Anyway, she is nice! I like her. I think a good addition to Choueifat.

Also, I got 2 new students today. On Sunday I got Jacob, he is this African little boy that smells like matches and is already comfortable kicking Nitish. On Tuesday, I got Ariah (pronounce like diarrhea in an Arabic like accent minus the di part)*. She is a sweet little Pakistani girl (I think) that cries everyday for her mom, but is easy to comfort with a little hug.

Now alls I need is a new me, and a cute new boyfriend to match. Maybe I should change my part or start going to more museums, huh.

Look at me!

Guess who's keeping up to their resolutions?!

ME!

I made Pad Thai tonight on a whim! I was like, I have fish sauce, I have rice noodles. So I looked up a recipe, and 20 mins later I was eating this weird mash of noodles and awesomeness.

It came out okay. I would show you it, but it didn't come out looking pretty, and plus I don't want to like own pictures of my food or whatever.

So yeah, I cooked. Soon enough I will live up to other good lil' wife standards that society has set!

Goals for the New Year List:

Resolutions:

1) Stop procrastinating.
2) Cook.
3) Get into a size 0.
4) Read the classics.
5) Read the newspaper.
6) Forget less.
7) Save more money.
8) Stop biting my nails.
9) Get smarter.

I don't know why

but I just love this kid!


It was clay time and I don't know if you can see it, but he made a "rocket" that was clearly a penis. Then he added little splooges to make it a "train".

Dirty mind.

He was saying and doing funny things, but of course I didn't get to capture it. This is good enough though!

Home for the Holidays

First off, Happy New Years!

After a million hours of traveling, I made it home safe and sound on Xmas eve, only to get in a car crash on the way home with Amie. The good news is, no one is hurt, the bad news is, Amie's car is totaled, the better news is, Amie doesn't have her car anymore.

Things I got to do:

See a ton of my family (in the snow of LA I might add!):

I didn't even know I had so much family...

My cute parents.

BAABY BOO!

See most of my friends:

(Not pictured due to her not being there: Grace)

(Not pictured due to his not being in state: Jeremy)

(Not pictured but still got to see!: Hayley and Kari.)

See a few randos:

Really only 2/6 = randos.

Although we are neighbors.

Some randos are actually just people we only have online relationships with and not actual hang out much relationships.

Take in the Central Coast:

A beautiful area we live in.

Go dark:

Before.

After.

Ring in New Year's in the grand tradition of over rated-ness:

They aren't over ratted though.

oooh 9 here we come!

Karaoke in masks... we couldn't even face the year.
That's Brandon behind that giraffe.

Things I didn't get to do:

See most college friends, and Jeremy.

Eat at every place I love.

Sleep with Crumb enough.

Stay long enough.

Etc.

All in all the trip was amazing, and I was so grateful to have gotten to go home! It was very needed. I was not amped to leave. I did miss my kiddies and some of my coworkers, but that was about it. Also I was so not looking forward to the flight, 25 hours y'all, which gave me a bloody nose BTDub! Now every time I fly I get an bloody bloody nose. (Say it in a British accent and it will make more sense...)

Love me some Middle Eastern man panties

This is how they sell boxer briefs in the Middle East.

Mixing 2 of my favorite things: man panties and violins.

A dedication to Jeremy

Though the miles may separate us, you are still with me in spirit JDong/Buster.

Remember when you liked Zwan?! We made a Zwan pita pizza.

Pwnless Chicken (spelled a smidge incorrectly I know.)

Let them play!

For art I let the kids horribly paint their own masks made of paper plates. Then like 2 weeks later during music, I let them wear them home. They sure came out ugly.

Nitish! Everyday he makes me laugh. But really, look at him. He is funny.

From the front: Merssal, Nekesha, Masud, and Asad. Asad is very shy and quiet, but Masud has adopted him as a friend, and I think it is really bringing out his personality. He was terribly boring before, and slowly but surely, he is coming out of his shell.

Gorgeous Mutia and decently cute Sevina! Waad and Hessa are in the back being naughty and writting on the board.


During maths I was having them make shapes out of clay, so for a laugh I put on a mustache and my class clowns copied me.

Here is Zayed Zeail, my terror above all terrors!

Here is Abdul Rahman slash Wario. I like that in the background you can see Zayed adjusting his stache!

Aladdin in Arabia... sucks.

So since I have been Arabia, I can't stop thinking of Aladdin. So today, when I was watching cable, I was delighted to find that it was going to be on MBC 2 at 3:00 ksa. Then I considered the chance of it being censored, being as there is no such thing as kissing or showing any affection or women sluttily on UAE TV, but it's a kids' movie, it's Disney, and it's rated G. Now most of the time G means General Audience, but here that rating obviously does not apply. They were able to ruin 3 songs by cutting out giant chunks of them when there were belly dancers or something, and they couldn't play ANY of A Whole New World.

Jerks.

Kids are creepy slash they love the camera

Merssal, Pradita, Masud

2/5 of KG1D

Mutia

More than half of my kiddies were absent today because of the vacation holiday that starts officially after this glass of wine. Tomorrow, the UAE turns 37. My parents are older than this country, which I find funny, though I am sure I can name at least 3 other countries that are younger than me. But really, I can't judge; it wasn't too long ago that the good ol' US of A was turning the same age... relatively speaking. Anyway, most of my kids were out of town starting their 2 week vacation early. So to reward the kids that made it to school, I let them have a fun period where we made crowns of glitter. The crowns were supposed to be the colors of the UAE flags (green, red, black, white), but my lame helper brought out like different blues and silvers which totally messed up the whole idea! But yeah, here is some of my class.

From left to right: Ghina, Mugesh (one of my pee-ers), Pradita, Bryan, Mutia, Merssal, Sevina, Tariq, and Masud. Not Pictured: Zayed Zeail because he was being an asshole.

P.S. Try not to be offended by my visible elbows, most everyone here is excepting of them and their sluttiness.

P.S.S This is the before and after of the asshole after he painted his face with glitter and glue and then proceeded to try washing it off himself. It was funny. BUT then he ran around the room throwing glitter everywhere, so I sent him away and he didn't get to wear his crown, which was fortunate for Mugesh, because Mugesh didn't get to make a crown because he was too busy pissing his pants. I'm not even kidding.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Today, as any decent American would know was Thanksgiving. For most it means driving miles to see your family and friends for the weekend, gorging yourself on tryptophan and cranberries, giving thanks to the Indians for being awesome enough to willingly give up their land, and waking up to leftovers that make bomb sandwiches. But to those abroad, like me, it only means Thursday. Instead of turkey, I ate fish. Instead of potatoes, I had pasta. Instead of eating at the dinner table with my family, I sat at the coffee table with my Romania roommate Anna. I was okay with all of this too. First of all, I am not that into Thanksgiving as is. I like my family, I like my friends, I am okay with some of the food, but I would rather have sushi or thai. Second, my family has had non-conventional Thanksgivings MANY times. Either my dad's away, or Shasha's away, or I'm away. We have not had a "normal" Thanksgiving for at least 4 years now. Third, I really don't like the idea/feeling of overeating. I'm sorry, it hurts, and it is not a good hurt like first love or a bikini wax; it is an uncomfortable, bloated, cramping pain that can only be subsided by sleep or pulling the trigger, neither of which are good for you.

So here I am, in the Middle East, on a Thursday, thousands of miles away from home, reading about my friends' complaints of holiday traffic and their plans to see their family, with a belly pleasantly full from dill fish and pasta, with Native Americans and pilgrims in a dim corner of my mind, and actually, I am thankful (ahaa).

Here, in no specific order, is a comprehensive list of things I am thankful for:

Technology! With out it, I would not be able to talk to my parents or email my friends or even update this retarded blog!



This opportunity to be here in the Middle East! It's cool that I can just trollop around with little kids, travel, and get paid!


My family! For the love, support, and awesomeness!


My friends from home! Ashley Judd's mom and uglier sister once said, I mean sang, love will build a bridge, between your heart and mine. Yeah that's how I feel.


My friends from school! They were my 4 years and I miss (some of) them (most) everyday.


Crumbothy Danger! Although I wish he was here with me sleeping in my bed, waking me up at night with his snoring and adjustments, I am thankful that he is hanging out with my parents and taking care of them.



Baby Christian! Even though right now he is worthless and a baby, I am thankful for his radness, his health, and for making my sister a mom.


America! Still the best place on earf.



God! He is good!

To those who didn't make the list, sorry; for those who did, be thankful.

Hope all of you had a good Thanksgiving. And remember, don't call it Turkey Day, because it's lame, and you sound retarded.

Terrorists can't stop this!

The good news is I booked a trip to India for Dec. 3 - Dec. 12 to see some amazing stuff about a month ago, the bad news is I'm still going.

Today there was a major terrorist attack in Mumbai, and despite what the US and parents advise, I am not not going.
1) I bought non-refundable/changeable tickets from Air Arabia.
2) I was put through hell and back to get mine and my 2 friends' stupid visas. The Indian Embassy is only open 9-12, Sun-Thursdays (when I work), so I had to grovel for time off so I could leave my house at 7 am by taxi to drive to Abu Dhabi to get to the Indian Embassy at 9 when it opened, only to be told that our visa requests were denied. Then I had to throw a fake girly temper tantrum so they would feel forced to make the white bitch stop crying by giving her her way. Then I had to wait 2 hours in order to give my stupid visa applications again in person, and not by DHL like we initially were told was possible, to a retarded/patientless consolate man AND I had to pay extra because I am America, while my British friend traveling with me, got a 75 dirham discount! Please.

So of course I am going. If not for the sheer point of it all!

Plus I love the movie The Fall. You should see it. It is life changing. Well I mean the little girl is adorable and has the most charming Romanian accent (just like my roommate)! The cinematograpy is awesome. And Lee Pace is bangin'! Other than that, the plot is just decent, well for me it was great, but I could see how some would not consider it life changing.


Things I'm going to see on my trip to India:

The Taj Majal in Agra.
We are flying into Delhi at night, staying overnight, then leaving for Agra after lunch in Delhi.
Rothanmbore National Park Safari.
Most likely we will not see tigers, but here's to hoping!

Jodhpur, The Blue City.
See The Fall and you will think it is fake. I'll be honest, I thought it was a movie set until I found out we were going there.

The Pink City.

The Lake Palace.
It's a palace on a lake. Why the crapy wouldn't we go to see it! Also, it is known as the "most romantic" place in all of India. Hey boys.


The Jaipur Observatory.
It's not a real observatory, which is lame, but it is a series of staircases that act as giant sundials, which is awesome!The Amber Fortress.

The Gateway to India, Mumbai.
Although there was just a massive attack on namely British and American tourists in Mumbai, we are hoping to still make it to this giant, smelly, dangerous city. Seriously though, NYC was super safe right after Sept. 11, and so was London after their bombings on the Underground. Security should be on its A game when we are there in 2 weeks. And if it isn't, we will leave.

Things I'm going to avoid in India:

Dirty Terrorists.

Dirty Water.

Dirty Diarrhea.

Please though family and friends. Do not worry about me. Life is such an adventure. I am not going to die. I've got way to many things to do on My List of Things to Do Before I Die list.

Not but really, I will be very careful and let everyone know I am safe, when I am safe.