Custom House in Avila has this special where you get a free meal on your birthday month. So when the birthday specials get used, I input them into the database. I get to see their address, birthday, and even what they ordered. Most of the names are boring, but some are not:
You've got to be joking me right?!
But no, this dude turned like 50 and ordered like a steak and wine.
Word to the wise, if your name is Richard Caddy, do not go by Dick.
So anyone who has ever made a rubber band ball knows, it is a long and patient process. I started this ball with ONE tiny rubber band. Be impressed. And this is it's progress at Day 2 weeks or something. There are probably like 30 rubber bands in there. I actually have no idea, and am notoriously awful at estimating, but just stop. Let yourself be impressed. I included the .5 mechanical pencil for a little perspective.
Here's the ball as of March 29th. I used a clip this time to show perspective. Boom, way bigger.
Okay, so it was the small clip. Still, just be impressed. They are hard to start. It is very similar to a gum wad. It's just not going to grow over night.
And I've never been prouder. And like a good little boy watching his girlish figure, he purged that shit up. Look I don't know how many calories a gopher is, but better safe than sorry if you ask me. Oh bulimia jokes. Never get old. Anyway, even if he wasn't battling his own inner demons, I don't think his little tummy could handle digesting the skull of this miniature mole-like mammal. Plus, like they always say, better the skull come out the front than out the back. They don't always say that, but I'm sure it is easier to vomit a cranium that poo one out. Like the opposite of an arrow. Do not push it through!
As you can see if you look closely, this is the little punks head, complete with eye and extra throw-up.
What, not enough? What, you want more?
I had to quit. I was about to ralph a rodent myself.